Thursday, November 1, 2012

All in a Day

If you observe a really happy man, you will find...that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours each day.
- W. Bernard Wolfe


It is relatively easy to go through the days with a mindless mentality, operating on autopilot (such as when I arrive at a destination with no memory of having driven there) and only remembering that which is monumental and of some considerable importance.  If I were to write down every tiny detail of a typical day, it would look something like this:

4:47am - Wake up desperately needing to pee.  Too lazy to get up.  Try to fall back to sleep.
5:32am - Fall back asleep.  Dream am being drugged by a stranger in a giraffe costume.
5:47am - Wake in cold sweat about said dream.
6:12am - Doze back off.
6:14am - Awaken to the sounds of Merrill calling, asking for breakfast/a cartoon/a drink/socks/a book
6:15am-8:35am - Make breakfast. Pack Merrill's lunch for school.  Shower. Watch news.  Refill Merrill's drink...four times. Make another breakfast for Merrill, as first breakfast was rejected.  Get dressed.  Chase Merrill around the house trying to get her teeth brushed/hair brushed/clothes on/shoes on.  Find the one stuffed animal out of eleventy MILLION that she just HAS to have.  Talk.  A lot. About nothing.
8:36am - Announce it's time to leave for school. 
8:37am - Again.
8:38am - And again.
8:39am - Bang head against wall.
8:41am - Wrangle Mer into her car seat. 
8:42am-8:50am - Answer 482 questions (ex: where do chickens pee? why is that car in front of us? what did the dogs dream about last night? who is the lady that is on the radio?), sing 11 songs.  Hear a story about how Mer goes to China every day to visit her friends and drive the yellow car to the big house with a pink couch and lots of sandwiches.
9:00am - Drop Merrill off at school.  Have to forcibly remove her from her freakishly strong monkey grip on my neck and waist. 
9:00am-10:00am - Gym.  Witness woman walking the track at the gym wearing stilettos, carrying a large purse....and a baby.
10:00am-2:00pm - Errands.  Errands.  Errands.  Stand next to wrong car in the grocery store parking lot, trying to figure out why it won't unlock...for 14 minutes. Lunch.  Almost run over man on bicycle.  Curse.
2:00pm - Pick up Merrill from school.  Find out that she ate both ends of another child's banana.
2:15pm - Enter library, where she proceeds to pick out 6 books...in Spanish. 
2:40pm - Assure her that dad will be home soon.  She isn't convinced.
2:41pm-3:27pm - Assure her again.
3:30pm - Realize I've only been wearing one earring all day.
3:31pm-5:59pm - Puppet show. Coloring books. Walk to mailbox. Swing. Piggyback rides. Read the same book 6 times in a row.  Wonder why children's books are sometimes so utterly ridiculous. Consider whether cereal would be an appropriate dinner for a three year old.  Decide yes.
6:02pm - Dad enters, Mom is forgotten.
6:04pm-8:25pm - Dinner. Play. Bath. Books. Bedtime routine. 
8:26pm - Decide an earlier bedtime is warranted due to severe attitude and seemingly evil presence lurking within Mer.
8:28pm - Kiss, hug, kiss, hug, another kiss, another hug, BIG hug, BIG kiss, hug, hug, squeeze, kiss, kiss, squeeze.
8:40pm-10:30pm - Collapse on couch.  Add wine.  Stare mindlessly at tv.
10:31pm - Crawl into bed.  Realize I've forgotten to pee, and will likely wake up at an ungodly hour needing to go...decide it's more bearable than getting back out of bed right this second.
~ Fin ~

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