Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Peevishness

I don't have pet peeves.  I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.
~ George Carlin


There are just some things in this world that royally piss me off.  Hiccups, for instance, make me irrationally angry.  Imagine my reaction when I was pregnant and Merrill would get the hiccups in the middle of the night.  When it is hot outside, most people sweat and feel discomfort.  I get borderline violent.

I am, when it comes to certain pet peeves, my own worst enemy and a hypocrite at best.  I loathe anal people, yet I am one of the most anal people I know.  I live in a world where the adorable pencil cup on my desk sits empty because the tiny person in my house loves pens, markers, pencils, etc, and thinks they are free reign.  Every time I see that empty pencil cup, I know I should remove it from the desk, as it makes no sense to sit uninhabited...but I can't...because that is where it belongs. 

In no particular order, these are some of the major annoyances that will set me off:
  • Rudeness...on all tiers
  • Women without bras in public
  • Football announcers that neglect to comment on bad calls or blatant no-calls
  • Passive aggressive behavior
  • People that talk on the phone while in a checkout line
  • Perms
  • Being tickled
  • Touchdown dances in the NFL
  • People that are rude to servers 
  • Hoop earrings so large they can double as bracelets
  • The 500+ page novel with a three page conclusion
  • People that change their God-given name...for no real reason
  • Poor eye contact
  • Indecisiveness (again, ME!)
  • Baby talk...unless you're a baby
  • People that pronounce "frustrated" as "fustrated" (actually, there are a lot of mispronunciations that piss me off, so that should be its own)
  • Bad grammar & spelling in well educated adults (I will let it slide when it's a child, because that can actually be kind of cute sometimes.  Sometimes.)

(Photo courtesy of momvelist.com)


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