Let Them Eat Cake...Balls

If I was made of cake I'd eat myself before somebody else could.
~ Emma Donaghue, Room

I have written much about food before.  I am obsessed, and read cookbooks cover to cover.  I get inspiration from many places, and yet I am a lost cause when it comes to following them, or worse, when it comes to conveying something I've invented.  When someone happens to try something I've made, and asks for the recipe, I can't provide it in finite terms.

I fell in love with this particular cake some months ago, and have relied on it for every occasion calling for a dessert.  Recently, after having excitedly made it for a gathering, I ended up with several pieces on hand.  Admittedly, I'm not much of a sweets person...and neither is Merrill...but I thought I'd try to make the cake fun for her....and easier to eat.  Fun for her, less mess for me.  Enter the cake balls.

This is so damn simple, especially with cake that is a few days old and has ample frosting (which ALL of mine do).  Simply mash the cake in a bowl and then roll it into ball shape.  With these, I added a topping of melted chocolate on top...but they genuinely don't need the additional sweetness, with the frosting and cake mixed together.  Bite sized pieces of cake and frosting...what more could you want?  This works with any type of cake...I've done red velvet rolled in pink sprinkles (perfect for Valentine's Day), vanilla with chocolate frosting (kind of a marble effect), confetti cake for birthdays, etc...they are so versatile and SO damn easy.  Additionally, if you don't have a premade cake, simply bake the cake, let it cool ever so slightly and crumble it, and then stir frosting into crumbled cake before rolling it into balls.  You can also put them onto wooden popsicle sticks to make a cake lollipop. 

Sprout Shout Out

We kids feared many things in those days - werewolves, dentists, North Koreans, Sunday school - but they all paled in comparison with Brussels sprouts.
~ Dave Barry, Miami Herald columnist

I love Brussels sprouts. Adore them. I'm well aware that is an unpopular opinion, and I could care less, because that means there are more for me. I make them on a very regular basis...and the preparation falls into one of three categories based on my mood. I roast them whole if I'm feeling lazy, do them halved if I'm mildly ambitious, and opt for shredded when I want the end result to be transcendant.

On a recent trip to Vegas, we ate at an amazing steakhouse called Stripsteak (if the opportunity presents itself, this place is a must), and as soon as I saw they had shredded Brussels sprouts as a side dish, all bets were off. (Ignore the obvious pun.) They were simply heavenly. Studded with chunks of thick smoky bacon and tossed in an apple cider vinegar reduction, they practically melted in our mouths. Peppery, slightly sweet, with a bit of char and caramelization...I simply cannot fathom anyone not liking these.

I decided to try my hand at recreating this recipe...and while it wasn't exact, it was close.  I used balsamic vinegar in place of the apple cider, which provided a bit of tang to contrast with the sweetness of the sprouts and the salty bits of bacon.  I finished them with some fresh pecorino romano cheese and that added additional depth of flavor.  This is so simple to make...cut off the ends of the sprouts, halve them and then chop them until they are finely shredded.  Saute the shredded sprouts in a bit of butter, olive oil and minced garlic until they are tender with a slight browned crisp, then toss them with chopped cooked bacon (I used a thick cut peppered bacon) and balsamic vinegar that has been reduced in a saucepan until it is slightly thickened.  Squeeze a touch of fresh lemon juice over them, add a sprinkle of brown sugar, grate the cheese over the dish and dig in.

(These photos aren't great, as I took them with my phone, but you get the drift.)

Freeze Frame

I can't believe I'm eating a frozen dinner.  I'm such a cliche.
~ Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City

As much as I'd like to pretend I'm the kind of mom that makes lunch from scratch every day, full of nutritional and organic ingredients, I would be lying if I said my freezer didn't contain a section dedicated to frozen dinners and snacks.  Obviously, with a three year old in the house, we consistently have chicken tenders and pizzas on hand.  But on the days when we don't have leftovers to eat for lunch, and the mere mention of a sandwich results in a meltdown (because of COURSE that means I'm a terrible mother and should be shot on sight), I tend to reach for a frozen dinner for us to share.  If I add something healthy like carrot sticks and fruit to her plate, I can give myself the illusion that I'm not damaging her forever, and I get a break from eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I certainly admit that while frozen dinners are not the peak of culinary genius, I have found a few that warrant freezer space on a regular basis.  The criteria for making the short list is pretty basic - appeal to a 34 year old woman AND a three year old.  Simple in theory, yet oddly elusive in reality.  Now, in no certain order, I present the winners:

Stouffer's Philly-Style Steak & Cheese Toasted Sub

This thing is goooood.  Criminally good.  The crisping tray gives the buttery bread a crunch just like a toasted sub, and it is a large sandwich, perfect for sharing.  I typically add a slice of provolone after it's done cooking, because more cheese makes everything better.  The grilled peppers and onions actually do taste grilled, the steak doesn't have that weird chewy texture so often found in frozen dinners, and it's just a damn yummy sandwich.  Enough said.

Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken

This is one of the first table foods Merrill ever ate.  I have been eating this for years, and one day she crawled to me with her mouth open like a baby bird as I sat shoveling it in as fast as I could, hoping to finish before she reached the potted plant just within her reach.  On a whim, I spooned some into her mouth, and she kept coming back for more...and more.  I'll often make one of these for her in the mornings she goes to school, chop the chicken and noodles into manageable pieces and put it in her thermos container for lunch.  Her teacher commented one day on the fancy lunch I'd prepared, and I didn't confess.  (Hey, I'll take it where I can get it.)  The chicken is tender while still having some crispness to the batter, the vegetables give me the illusion it's healthier than it probably is, and the noodles draped in the sweet sauce are light yet filling.  I usually have a salad with this, because Merrill inevitably eats 75% of it.

Lean Cuisine Enchiladas Suiza

When we make this, I usually eat the majority of the enchiladas while she commandeers the rice (this kid LOVES rice, and can put grown men to shame with how much she can consume in a sitting).  She finds the enchilada sauce a touch spicy for her taste, but it's pleasant for me to find it's not bland like some others I've tried.  She usually eats applesauce or yogurt with hers (it helps cut the spice), and we share chips and salsa.

These are not gourmet meals, but they are fast (a necessity when a toddler is in charge) and tasty (a necessity when a food-obsessed mom is in charge).